Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Happy to have sore boobs!
Since March 2009, my menstrual cycles have been chaotic and unpredictable, I don't think that it's a small coincidence that it all went crazy when I left the UK and headed back to Aus by myself, I missed DH like crazy and couldn't stand to be half the world away from him. So I believe the stress of being so far away from him had a direct impact. Ever since, things have been very unsettled.
My last "normal" cycle was about 35 days long just before I flew back to Aus, then they suddenly slowed down to a grinding 3 months long. Then when I returned to the UK things got even worse and I was bleeding for weeks rather than the usual 5-6 days. My ovaries had basically stopped working and were failing to ovulate. I gained alot of weight while I was in Aus so this is probably the main reason. And now that I have lost (just guessing) around 7-8kg it seems that my body is starting to behave itself once again. This morning while getting dressed I am sure I felt some tenderness in my breasts which usually means that I have just ovulated. I also noticed some cervical mucus about two or three days ago, that is always a sure sign that I am about to ovulate.
This is probably really underwhelming and gross for alot of people to read but to me it's exciting, it means (if my instincts are right!) that my hormones are regulating themselves more which *should* make it easier to lose more weight. I'm not even considering trying to conceive at the moment, I really don't want to worry myself about that until I am fitter and healthier. In fact, the thought of falling pregnant actually scares me alot at the moment, I am afraid of having another miscarriage.
My last "normal" cycle was about 35 days long just before I flew back to Aus, then they suddenly slowed down to a grinding 3 months long. Then when I returned to the UK things got even worse and I was bleeding for weeks rather than the usual 5-6 days. My ovaries had basically stopped working and were failing to ovulate. I gained alot of weight while I was in Aus so this is probably the main reason. And now that I have lost (just guessing) around 7-8kg it seems that my body is starting to behave itself once again. This morning while getting dressed I am sure I felt some tenderness in my breasts which usually means that I have just ovulated. I also noticed some cervical mucus about two or three days ago, that is always a sure sign that I am about to ovulate.
This is probably really underwhelming and gross for alot of people to read but to me it's exciting, it means (if my instincts are right!) that my hormones are regulating themselves more which *should* make it easier to lose more weight. I'm not even considering trying to conceive at the moment, I really don't want to worry myself about that until I am fitter and healthier. In fact, the thought of falling pregnant actually scares me alot at the moment, I am afraid of having another miscarriage.
Friday, August 13, 2010
Eat up yer broccoli!
Two years ago I was participating on a forum with other women who were facing fertility issues. I stopped posting there just after my fourth pregnancy loss but for some reason I went back there today and read through some of my posts. Just before I discovered I was pregnant I was seeing a naturopath who had prescribed me a bottle of herbs and some supplements. One of these supplements is called Indole-3-Carbinol aka "I3C".
I3C is produced by the breakdown of an organic compound found to occur naturally in cruciferous vegetables such as cabbage, broccoli, brussels sprouts, and kale. When digested, a compound called Diindolylmethane (or DIM) is derived.
DIM works by stimulating efficient oestrogen metabolism
DIM increases the specific aerobic metabolism for oestrogen, multiplying the chance for oestrogen to be broken down into its beneficial, or "good" oestrogen metabolites. These "good"oestrogen metabolites are known as the 2-hydroxy oestrogens. Many of the benefits that are attributed to oestrogen, which include its ability to protect the heart and brain with its antioxidant activity, are now known to come from these "good" metabolites.
When DIM increases the "good" oestrogen metabolites, there is a simultaneous reduction in the levels of undesirable or "bad" oestrogen metabolites. These include the 16-hydroxy oestrogens, which are not antioxidants and can actually cause cancer. Greater production of these "bad" oestrogen metabolites is promoted by obesity and exposure to a number of manmade environmental chemicals.
These "bad" oestrogen metabolites are responsible for many of oestrogen's undesirable actions in women and men, including further unwanted weight gain, breast cancer, and uterine cancer.
Now that I have a better understanding of why it is so important for me, as a PCOS and endometriosis sufferer, to be getting more cruciferous vegetables into my diet I will try to add more of them but I am also going to include them in juicing just so I can squeeze even more in. Excess oestrogen is a major influence in my weight issues so if I can convince my body that it is safe by lowering the oestrogen levels I am sure to see positive changes.
I3C is produced by the breakdown of an organic compound found to occur naturally in cruciferous vegetables such as cabbage, broccoli, brussels sprouts, and kale. When digested, a compound called Diindolylmethane (or DIM) is derived.
DIM works by stimulating efficient oestrogen metabolism
DIM increases the specific aerobic metabolism for oestrogen, multiplying the chance for oestrogen to be broken down into its beneficial, or "good" oestrogen metabolites. These "good"oestrogen metabolites are known as the 2-hydroxy oestrogens. Many of the benefits that are attributed to oestrogen, which include its ability to protect the heart and brain with its antioxidant activity, are now known to come from these "good" metabolites.
When DIM increases the "good" oestrogen metabolites, there is a simultaneous reduction in the levels of undesirable or "bad" oestrogen metabolites. These include the 16-hydroxy oestrogens, which are not antioxidants and can actually cause cancer. Greater production of these "bad" oestrogen metabolites is promoted by obesity and exposure to a number of manmade environmental chemicals.
These "bad" oestrogen metabolites are responsible for many of oestrogen's undesirable actions in women and men, including further unwanted weight gain, breast cancer, and uterine cancer.
Now that I have a better understanding of why it is so important for me, as a PCOS and endometriosis sufferer, to be getting more cruciferous vegetables into my diet I will try to add more of them but I am also going to include them in juicing just so I can squeeze even more in. Excess oestrogen is a major influence in my weight issues so if I can convince my body that it is safe by lowering the oestrogen levels I am sure to see positive changes.
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Infertility
I never imagined that I would ever have to endure such a horrible battle with infertility. I was aware of other people having to go through it but until I experienced years of failure and then four miscarriages I had no idea how painful and isolating the whole journey would be. Or that it would make me become so angry and bitter and at times so depressed that I just wanted to kill myself.
On a good day, I barely think about the miscarriages, I may have a fleeting moment when I remember what happened and there is a twinge of pain and perhaps a few tears and I acknowledge it then move on. On a bad day I have horrible flashbacks and I get so angry and wonder why the fuck it had to happen to me when there are women who abuse their kids or abuse their bodies with alcohol or drugs, yet they don't lose their pregnancies.
When my pregnant Facebook "friends" moaning about being "over it" or ask jokingly if anyone would like to adopt their tantrum throwing toddler (what the??) or just whinge about the most trivial little things, it's like a knife in the guts. Many of these "friends" have endured infertility themselves but have eventually succeeded in having children and they have expressed their anger at other women who say stuff like they are "over it", only to then do it themselves. I supported many of them through their journeys so it really upsets me that they move on and forget about those of us who read their flippant remarks and feel the knife drive in a bit deeper.
When I had my first miscarriage, I vowed to myself that I wouldn't become one of those angry and bitter women who couldn't be happy for other people when they got their baby in the end. I couldn't understand why those women were the way they were but eventually it happened to me too. With each miscarriage I endured, I became angrier and more resentful so that after a while it just became easier to cope.
I will never be able to enjoy a pregnancy without the fear of another miscarriage. Even now when I think about the possibility of carrying a baby to term I can't help but imagine that something horrible will happen because history has shown me that something horrible always does happen eventually.
I hate what infertility has done to my head and my heart. If I knew what a torturous, painful journey it would become, I would never have allowed myself to want children. This is probably the most agonizing thing I have ever experienced, far beyond any illness or heartbreaking relationship I've had in my life.
On a good day, I barely think about the miscarriages, I may have a fleeting moment when I remember what happened and there is a twinge of pain and perhaps a few tears and I acknowledge it then move on. On a bad day I have horrible flashbacks and I get so angry and wonder why the fuck it had to happen to me when there are women who abuse their kids or abuse their bodies with alcohol or drugs, yet they don't lose their pregnancies.
When my pregnant Facebook "friends" moaning about being "over it" or ask jokingly if anyone would like to adopt their tantrum throwing toddler (what the??) or just whinge about the most trivial little things, it's like a knife in the guts. Many of these "friends" have endured infertility themselves but have eventually succeeded in having children and they have expressed their anger at other women who say stuff like they are "over it", only to then do it themselves. I supported many of them through their journeys so it really upsets me that they move on and forget about those of us who read their flippant remarks and feel the knife drive in a bit deeper.
When I had my first miscarriage, I vowed to myself that I wouldn't become one of those angry and bitter women who couldn't be happy for other people when they got their baby in the end. I couldn't understand why those women were the way they were but eventually it happened to me too. With each miscarriage I endured, I became angrier and more resentful so that after a while it just became easier to cope.
I will never be able to enjoy a pregnancy without the fear of another miscarriage. Even now when I think about the possibility of carrying a baby to term I can't help but imagine that something horrible will happen because history has shown me that something horrible always does happen eventually.
I hate what infertility has done to my head and my heart. If I knew what a torturous, painful journey it would become, I would never have allowed myself to want children. This is probably the most agonizing thing I have ever experienced, far beyond any illness or heartbreaking relationship I've had in my life.
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