Tapping on allowing and receiving

I was following a tapping video with Brad Yates which he released in time for Christmas 2010, and something interesting came up, I suppose it was an Echo from my childhood.

When I was growing up I wanted a pony, but no matter how hard I wished and hoped, I never got one.  My parents were very resistant to the idea because we lived in suburban Sydney and there was absolutely no room to keep a horse at our place.  There was vacant land dotted around our suburb because it was still a semi rural town with lots of "market" gardeners, small land holders who grew vegies and flowers to take to Flemington markets every week.

There were also girls at my school who had horses and I was always so envious that they could always go and tend to their horses after school - feeding, brushing, checking their hooves, and the best part of all... riding.  I wanted to be like them so much, but no matter how much I pestered my parents they said no.  The closest contact I had with horses was either paying to ride one, or occasionally going to my cousin's place and riding one of her horses.

I even had my own riding helmet, a traditional style black one with the little round bit on the top.  It was a velvety kind of fabric and was lined with yellow satin inside, there was also a string sewn into the lining so that I could adjust the satin piece so that the helmet sat comfortably on my head.

Then a bit later, I bought a riding crop.

And one day while out walking somewhere, I found a blue halter laying in the grass.  I took the halter home and hung it on the inside handle of my bedroom door.

I remember one of my cousins coming to me one day and telling me that another of my cousins (they all owned horses!) was having a laugh at my expense and making fun of me because I wanted a horse so much and they all had them and I never would.

Still hurts to this day.  I hardly ever think about it but even though it was about 25 years ago, it still hurts.

So I suppose that is something I need to tap on because it has probably impacted on my life to the point where I now believe that I don't "deserve" to have a horse.  This is a form of resistance rather than allowing.

I'm going to try this tapping video on resistance and see what happens.

a new start in the New Year

Happy New Year?

So far, no.  It has been a terribly unhappy start to 2011 for me. 

But I'm quietly determined to turn this around.

I haven't been applying the GM for ages now but I need to start focussing on it.

I'm also getting back into Matrix Reimprinting which is a method of Emotional Freedom Technique that I was learning about last year.

It feels like my life has gone from bad to worse to horrendous over the last 6 years and I wish I could turn the clock back and start over again but I can't.  I've got to start here, today.  And I think the answer will be Matrix Reimprinting, I need some practical tool to help me discover my old patterns and belief systems that have got me into this deep rut.