I just found out, via Facebook of all places, that my supposed best friend is 7 weeks pregnant. I say supposed, because I found this out on a public forum rather than being told in person. I thought she would have the guts to tell me before I discovered this for myself.
It is such a kick in the teeth, not just to find out that way, but because she conceived less than two months after getting married. I have tried and failed for a baby of my own since September 2005 (married October 2005) and had four miscarriages along the way. I don't understand why it happens so easily for some. Unless you've suffered from infertility I don't expect you to really understand why it has affected me the way it has.
My anger and frustration might be wrong in other people's eyes, but I am entitled to feel whatever way I want to feel. I have been through sheer hell, and right or wrong this is how it affects me. I will not have other people, who have no concept of how it is to be infertile, trying to dictate to me about how I should or shouldn't be coping.
Infertility has made me such a cynical, bitter person, I hate what it has done to me. It's just fucked up.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Show me some love!