Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome

I was diagnosed with PCOS in March 2005 at 29 years of age.  Until the diagnosis, I just assumed that I had inherited some unfortunate genes from my birth mother.  I hadn't even heard about PCOS until one day I went to a beautician appointment and the therapist commented on the dark hairs on my chin and how they were related to "something hormonal".  I had always felt really embarrassed about my hairy chin and always did my best to make sure it was clear but the therapist was still able to see the finer hairs and feel those that were sitting just below the skin waiting to sprout.  When I got home I googled "facial hair hormones women" or something like that.  The flood gates burst open and I was carried downriver into the world of PCOS from that moment.  I had blood tests and an ultrasound done and was told that I had the syndrome, but not the ovarian cysts that are associated with it.  I was prescribed the Pill which I took for about 5-6 months before coming off it due to a side effect (tightness of the chest).

Two or three months later, in November 2004, just a month before my 30th birthday, I woke up one morning with a severe headache.  It had happened before so I thought nothing of it, took some Panadol and tried to rest a bit more.  A few hours later, I suffered a stroke and ended up in hospital for almost a month for monitoring and rehabilitation.  Thankfully, the stroke wasn't so severe that it disabled me but I was unable to work for a year and unable to drive a car for about 6 months.  To this day my Neurologist can't tell me why I had the stroke, but we have been able to rule out a blood clot.  I honestly believe that the stroke was caused by PCOS.  After the stroke, my cycles went crazy.  Actually, they went AWOL. 

A year later I was still having grief with my cycles, I was anovulatory and bleeding endlessly.  I ended up consulting an Ob/Gyn and I had another ultrasound, this time showing my ovaries to be covered in cysts.  How could that be, when I'd only had an ultrasound a year before?   So I was booked into hospital where I had D&C, that was all fine, the Dr found a polyp which was removed, then a few weeks later I started Clomid.  I was on Clomid for about 6 cycles and I conceived twice but lost both pregnancies before 7 weeks.  That plunged me into a bout of depression for a year or so.  My weight went up and down and I managed to get it down to about 73kg when I finally conceived for the 3rd time naturally as my cycles were fairly regular again.  Then I conceived naturally again about 4 months later.  I lost that baby also, at 10.5 weeks. 

We have put all baby plans on hold until I am healthy enough to start again.  I had resolved not to do anything else until I could get my PCOS symptoms under control by losing weight.  I am concerned that with PCOS, I am pre-disposed to weight gain.  Under conditions of famine, according to theory, women with PCOS are more able to survive than their non-PCOS sisters and not only that but their ability to ovulate and have successful pregnancies actually increases.  So is my body on a state of alert to the threat of famine even though it may not eventuate?

I don't understand why I even have PCOS, my birth mother appears to have been a fertile woman (from what my parents are able to remember, she had a baby boy before me at 16, also adopted out - she was 19 when she gave birth to me).  So does that mean I developed PCOS because I gained weight, or did I gain weight because I have PCOS?  I guess the next logical step would be finding my birth mother.  I was in the process of doing that a few months ago but for some reason I didn't follow through.  Perhaps now is the right time so I can try to resolve some of the abandonment/under-nurturing issues that I appear to be holding onto.